by Carolyn Schwartz, Ph.D & Victor J. Goldman, C.S.W. (Cooperative Partners – 631-928-4114)

There’s only a short time until the big day and you realize that you haven’t picked a song for your first dance and you’re going to be on the dance floor all by yourselves with everyone watching, the video camera taping you for posterity and all you know how to do is hold each other and rock back and forth. You begin to panic. You frantically thumb through the Yellow Pages, you go online looking for dance lessons. How can this stressful scenario be avoided? Here are our five recommendations for making your wedding dance both memorable and successful.

1)      Pick your wedding song early - Find one that both of you agree express the feelings you share for one another. Make a second choice sometimes, it is difficult to create a routine because of changes of rhythm in the music.

2)      Finding a dance teacher - Finding a dance teacher Look for a teacher that has at least 5 years of experience. If you feel pressured to sign a contract or agree to take a large number of lessons in advance, we suggest that you keep searching until you find a teacher who lets you decide how many lessons to take and in the time sequence that fits your needs. If either one of you is uncomfortable with the teacher, look elsewhere.

3)      How many lessons should you take? - Most couples need at least 4 lessons to learn a routine that is relatively easy. Of course, complex choreography, or dances like the swing or waltz require more time

4)      Utilize the experience to enhance your relationship - This is your partner for life. Let the lessons set a tone for your relationship. Be patient with one another. Laugh together. Enjoy holding each other as you dance. Learn from your mistakes. Support one another if either has difficulty learning. Most of all remember your connection to one another and the enjoyment of dancing together is more important than any dance steps or how you look to others.

5)      When to start lessons - It is best to start six months in advance. This will allow you to learn at your own pace and minimize any stress. This will also give you plenty of time to decide on the complexity of the dance and to receive the teachers feedback on your choice of songs and the appropriate dance. Keep in mind that you will need enough time to learn your dance routine so that even if you are nervous, the bodys memory will take over and you will be able to enjoy the dance without thinking about it. Finally, a six-month time frame gives you the opportunity to learn some other dances for the wedding and future events. Latin and swing dancing are very popular and the basics can be learned in this time period. You may also want to create your own small group of family and friends who would like to enjoy themselves more fully by being able to dance at your wedding celebration.

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Last modified: 02/18/04